No Honor

He understood that his was not to be an
honorable death.
With what he had done, seen and lived
through, honor was an ocean away. Lost.

No, all he wished for was a 'good death'.
He counted and compared, numbers sliding
one into the other. There is no quantifying
deeds; good or bad. Falling to the floor he searches
and comes away with empty hands.

He leaves behind 'soldiers'.
They are in good stead and no longer needed
his direction.
Goodbyes are unnecessary, he will not be far.

I Would

If I could, I would....

visit the years of my youth.

I would grieve and shed the

tears that remain dry still.

I would return to those days

when love waited at my doorstep

everyday.

I would accept it.

If I could, I would....

have cast my runes forwards,

and not look back.

Learned how to say yes,

unlearned the feeling of fear.

Allowed the arms around me

to stay there.

If I could, I would

move to the ocean

stand in the waves forever

forget what I know

know what I should

love him again.

If I could, I would

live.

NEED

They went up in flames, whoosh, just like that.

They were two crossed wires that caused an

explosion.

She had no thoughts other than thoughts about

her body and what it wanted.

He touched her here, he kissed her there

she could not get enough, did not want it

to stop.

He caressed her body, then grabbed it;

he sucked, then bit.

He was a man who had not made love in

a long time, and his unchecked desire was

touching, heartbreaking almost.

I wanted to hand myself over: yes, take me

gobble me up.

I fell, I landed hard. Welcome to reality.

Belief

She has been the door, he the key.

Now and forever more it has been

the same story. Sorrow and

ecstasy, love and loss.

Yet here he stands, against her intense curiosity

her nascent desire.

He holds her face like a child's face, a doll's

face. Small and delicate.

Unwittingly casting a spell. Breathless in the moment.

She arches for him, does he ache for her?

His kiss a drug, a rush. Too powerful to let go.

He is like holding an instrument she has never

learned to play. She understands his longing,

his fear. His mistrust. She knows all his secrets.

Body to body and worlds apart.

Never once did she allow herself to believe.

She turns and walks away to the door,

forgetting the key.