a little snow

Her vision is blurred. She wonders, is it the snow spitting
at her windshield? Or is it the streaming tears?
When the heartache overwhelmed her the only thought
she had was to get to the cabin. A place of refuge, a place
to forget him. A garden of forgetfulness.
The road conditions are such now, that she questions her
judgment. She knows however, its the only place to think,
grieve, recover. she is but a very few miles away.
It doesn't take long before the bright light of this downpour
leaves her disoriented, her mind wanders...

like the shadow of so many yesterdays, the past, the raw
emotions, flood her thoughts like a window left open in December.
She had never fallen in love before him. Oh yes, she has loved
other men...possibly many. But not until him did she make the
discovery. You can love, but still, ....being in love was so very
different.
She was lost, but found. Heat and coolness had no meaning.
It was very like being a newborn. Open to all and sunder.
Everything, all of her, her being, soul, belonged to him.
She forgot whom she was, for she lived only for him.
No mirror recognized her, she became, owned. So unlike her character,
her past experiences. Lost and her heart screamed...not found!

she breaks out of her reverie in time to see the drive leading to
the cabin. A sigh of relief escapes her raw lips, she has been
crying far too long. A chance now to go back in time...a more
peaceful era. This was her great grandparents cabin. Many renovations
later it still and forever holds its original charm and warmth.
In her parents will they had left a codicil that the longtime caretakers
were to remain in employ and her gratitude was never so
apparent as when she walked in and found an over warm but
deeply appreciated fire in the grate. Her eyes roamed the familiar room
and found that Emil and his wife had left a welcome of cheese, grapes
and an inviting bottle of red wine.

Running upstairs to her old room, she quickly drops her suitcase
and feeling the warmth of the fire set in her room as well, she divests herself of all but panties. Ahh, a modicum of freedom, a burden lifted.
She makes her way to the greatroom and opens the wine without
haste. Deep and dry, she drinks. Yes, she begs, let me forget.
Let me abandon all his assertions of love, of always.
eventually
the broken promises, the dreams. She recalls the phone conversations,
the texts and words whispered in her ear, her heart. Damn him,
she is betrayed by her own body. The warmth she now feels
is no longer emanating just from the fire. She feels his breath on her
neck his hand on her breast. ENOUGH she screams to an empty room.
A cypher kissing her fingertips, leaving wet trails of desire.
Another glass of wine. She came to forget.....she only remembers.